MY mother called me the other night, and said something thatstunned me. It made me think that maybe I didn't know her nearly aswell as I thought I did. It shook me to the core of my being.
"So I got an iPad."
Those words may not mean much from just about anyone else. User-friendly technology has enabled people of all walks and stages oflife to embrace the newest gadgets and gizmos. I've seen grumblingson my friends' Facebook status updates that the "end must be nigh"because their baby booming parents joined the social networkingsite. A recent episode of "South Park" ridiculed the popular Website, with Randy Marsh yelling at his son Stan for not accepting hisgrandmother's friend request or reacting to his posts and comments.
But my mother, who recently joined the ranks of Medicare, isneither intrigued nor impressed with technology. Her looks andspirit are young, but her patience for machinery is nonexistent. Adecades-old picture of her at her former office in North Hollywoodshows her pounding the monitor of her DOS-operated computer with herfist. This is a woman who doesn't even have caller ID on her homephone.
She has a computer and an Internet connection because she has tofor her horseracing business. During the last five years, I haverepeatedly taken her through the "process" of downloading documents.But I know I haven't answered her computer conundrums nearly as muchas my oldest brother.
"What? How did that happen?" I asked, unsure if I heard herdeclaration of purchase right.
She told me about some gadget guy she had over to her house tohelp set up the computer at her new desk. She asked him aboutgetting a laptop for portability. He recommended Apple's newest toy.And she actually agreed to it.
I should have seen this coming. Six months ago she told me shewas thinking about getting a Kindle. While it surprised me that sheknew about the eReader, I understood her thinking because she is anavid book lover who is constantly filling her house with new tomes.Yet she can't stand any clutter whatsoever. (I once joked that shewould get a kick out of watching all the shows and specials abouthoarders. She threatened to cut me out of her life.)
When I sent her a few text messages last year, she called andlectured me about how much she hates texts, and that if I wanted totell her something I should call. Then a few months later she rangme from the Verizon store in Woodland Hills to ask me what kind ofphone I thought would be the best for texting.
Just like the rest of us, she has gradually been sucked in. Ilistened to her espouse the virtues of her new toy and suggest thatmaybe I should get one, too, despite that fact that I already own aBlackberry, laptop and a Kindle.
"I was going to impress the hell out of you and your brothers,"Mom said. "I wanted to send you an e-mail and sign it, 'This e-mailwas dictated to you from my iPad."'
"Why didn't you?" I asked.
"I still don't know how to use it."
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